My December
by Moonchild10
Summary: *** Christmas!! Nny tries to forget his past, tries again with Devi, she finds out a dark secret about Nny, she gets mad. And stuff happens. ^_^ *Story completed!*
1. Depression

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

XXX

Johnny C. looked up from the comic he was drawing and looked out the window in front of the small desk he sat at. The only window in the house that hadn't boarded up.

Large, cold snowflakes blew by his window, and the howling of the December wind rattling in his ears.

Lonely.

He was so lonely.

Christmas was coming, and he was going to be all alone again. He never had anyone to celebrate with. He'd been alone for Christmas for as long as he could remember. He got up from his desk and stood in the center of the room. He stared at the bloodstains on the floor. He'd been alone for Christmas since his parents had died. Christmas had always been a hard time for Nny; it was the day his parents had died. His bloody, unwanted Christmas present. He could feel cold tears.

He refused to let the tears break loose. He had to forget his parents. It had been too long. He needed to numb himself. Usually he could be numb..but not at this time of year.

"I feel your pain, Nny," Came the voice of one of the doughboys. Nny wasn't sure which one was which anymore. They had come to sound so alike.

"I have no pain," Nny lied through his teeth, keeping his back to the evil Styrofoam demons.

"You are lonely. I can fix it. Kill yourself. No one loves you. No one cares about you. There is no reason to stay alive," the sneering voice said.

"Shut up! Death isn't the release I want!" Nny screamed.

Nny grabbed his black trench coat and left the house. He looked around at the snowy surroundings and smiled a bit. He loved the winter. So cold, so lifeless, so pale. So uncaring, freezing innocent souls with nowhere to go. So bleak and hopeless, leaving most yearning for the release of spring. But not Nny. He loved the winter. He loved the despair of it all, and the way most people couldn't grasp the simple beauty of a tiny snowflake.

He walked on, thinking how good a freezy would taste..or a fizz-wizz. He could really use a fizz-wizz. As he walked on, he suddenly stopped and looked up, seeing the apartment building in front of him. Devi lived there. He'd seen her enter it a great many times. He looked up at one of the windows that he knew was hers, yearning.

He heard the front door of the apartment open, and saw someone exit, still pulling on a coat. She looked at him when she noticed him.

"Get out of here, Nny," Devi snapped as she passed. He looked at the ground, the sidewalk on which the snow had been packed tight and flat by feet, and its soft whiteness turned to a dull off-whitey brown.

He sighed sadly and watched her head off to the left, and then he started for home, not intending to get anything from 24/7 any longer. He stopped every now and then in his journey to marvel at the snow, falling icy and moonflower white around his ears. He miserably trudged on, reaching his home and leaping into the car in the driveway. She turned the keys and drove off.

Soon he reached the little cliff where he often stopped to ponder. He got out of the car, despite how cold it was, and sat on the hood, staring down at the snow swirling over the land below him. The little twinkling lights were still visible though the drifting snowflakes. He hugged himself, shivering, and kept staring down on the town, remembering times before and thinking histrionic thoughts.


	2. Loneliness

Disclaimey: I own nothing. Nothing at all. I've never even used a computer. I've never been on the internet. Mwa ha ha I'm joking.  
  
Chapter to is here, the story is back by unpopular demand! Here we go. Where did we leave off? I don't remember. Well, I'll improvise. Here we go.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Devi walked into her house, back from wherever she'd been. She sighed, glancing around at her small living room. A small, scrawny, rather pathetic plastic Christmas tree sat on the end table. It was pretty much the only festive thing she'd done, and it had been Tenna's idea. They were going to decorate it tonight. She groaned at the thought of bringing up Christmas memories again, knowing she would recall some unpleasant ones from her childhood.  
  
Like the first Christmas without her mother. That had been the hardest Christmas of her life. Nobody really did much but sit around, their eyes hollow, when they could have been recalling her mother and all the good memories they'd shared. But Devi's family weren't exactly that kind of people. They liked to avoid their feelings, act like they were numb to everything. Devi was no exception these days. She sat down quietly in her chair.  
  
She missed all the times she'd had when she was younger. The times with family. The times when it was possible to avoid being completely and totally alone. Christmas was never a very 'jolly' affair for her. She and Tenna exchanged gifts (Devi regretted that time she'd given Tenna a rubber skeleton doll very bitterly now) and drank some eggnog, decorated a small pathetic tree, and talked for a while about past Christmases, and that was that. Every year. The whole thing was probably going to start in about three hours, when Tenna showed up with her happy face on again just like every year. Devi groaned at the thought and stood up again, pulling on her duster and heading out the door to maybe get a fizz-wizz.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Squee sat beside his window, clutching his small blue notebook in his hands. The cover was a bright sky blue, a peaceful and yet happy color that reminded him of the sunny sky, something that always made him feel slightly cheerful. He held the pen delicately in his small fingers and looked up at the starry sky, thinking. Then he dropped the pen to the page and wrote a few sentences in the little story he was making. It had been a while since he'd added onto it, and tonight he was so forlorn that it was the only thing to lift his spirits.  
  
Christmas was growing near again. He disliked it for a number of reasons. Number one, that scary man with the claws showed up. He never came to Squee's house for some odd reason, though this didn't bother him in the slightest. He also hated the feeling of spending a time that was supposed to be spent with family and friends all alone.  
  
He did love to look at the snow, though. And he loved the way the night sky looked when it was cold out, so crisp and icy. He loved the silence of December nights also. The sheer beauty of the season left little Todd in awe at times, almost helping him forget that he was alone, and nobody cared about him. Well, maybe the scary neighbor man did, but Shmee said he wanted to chop Squee up, so maybe he didn't care.  
  
And then there was Shmee, who was still trying to tell him that his parents didn't love him. He was beginning to believe it at this point, beginning to suspect that maybe his parents weren't such good people after all. Maybe in fact they really were very bad people. Maybe they belonged to that legion of clowns that were on that cereal commercial on weekend mornings. They were really scary, with their red rubber noses and their curly blue wigs. A shudder went through his small body at the thought of those terrible clowns. They were evil, those clowns. Shmee was right about them. But what about his parents? Was Shmee right about his parents too?  
  
Squee hoped not. He hoped that there was still a chance that they loved him, or could someday. It was getting increasingly lonely with no one to talk to but Shmee and the neighbor man, who scared him out of his wits besides. He liked to think that someday he would find somewhere he could feel like he was loved. He doubted it somewhere in his tiny mind, but he secretly hoped for it with all the force a small boy could muster. Maybe someday he'd get out of this place.  
  
*/*/*  
  
The next chapter is coming soon, since I have nothing to do today. 


	3. Silence

Disclaimer: I do not own JTHM. If I did, I would die of sheer joy.  
  
Here's the third chapter in this unkind depressing story. I need to get a life. I burnt my foot on a spark two days ago while lighting fireworks. I screamed for a while and then I ended up falling into a rosebush. I got cut.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Nny pulled up in front of house 777 and got out of the car. He stomped into the house, kicking snow off of his boots as he went inside. He flopped down on the couch as he had done so many countless times before, staring up at the ceiling in despair. He had never felt so hopeless before. Christmas was supposed to be a time of joy, not a time that made one want to pull one's own hair out and sink to the floor in manic tears of anguish (no, not Anne Gwish. I hate her. She is an evil, evil woman. Grr!).  
  
He sighed and kicked at the air with his left boot, the sound of his soft sigh almost ringing through the house, the air was so silent.  
  
"Ah yes Nny. Lonely again. Feeling sorry for yourself again. Such sweet memories. You've been like this ever since you nearly killed dear little Devi. Or maybe even before. But still, why don't we finish the job?"  
  
"Oh shut up," Nny mumbled, no longer letting the voices get to him.  
  
"Come now, come now. Kill someone. Something. Anyone. Anything. Just kill again."  
  
"I told you to shut up," Nny said, and the little voice faded into the dark with a dissatisfied little hiss.  
  
"Ahh, that's better," Nny said, trying to feel content. But he couldn't deny the burning ache that resided somewhere in his chest.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Devi answered the knock on the door with little enthusiasm. When she opened the door, Tenna stepped inside, holding a brown paper bag under one arm and holding Spooky in her hand, a small red velvety bow tied around his neck to look extra festive. Devi stepped back to let her past, looking at the little skeleton doll with distaste.  
  
"Merry not-yet-Christmas Devi!" Tenna said merrily, setting the bag on the floor.  
  
"Yeah," Devi replied numbly, "You too."  
  
"Spooky says that same thing!" Tenna said, giving the little toy and feverish squeak. Devi shook her head.  
  
"I don't know why I ever bought you that thing in the first place," she said. (I love Spooky!!!!!!!!)  
  
"Aww come on Devi! Spooky likes you!" Tenna said hopefully.  
  
"Mmm-hmm," Devi said torpidly. Tenna shrugged.  
  
"I brought Christmas decorations!" Tenna said excitedly.  
  
"So I see," Devi said, looking at the bag on the floor.  
  
"C'mon Dev lighten up! It's almost Christmas! Christmas eve is in just two days! Get in the spirit!" Tenna whooped.  
  
"Seriously, Tenn, I think I'm as much 'in the spirit' as I can get right about now," Devi said sadly.  
  
"Oh yeah. The mom thing," Tenna said, her face falling.  
  
"Yeah. Sometimes I really miss her, you know. I mean, she loved Christmas. And she was always doing this big thing for it every year. It was pretty fun. And then she had to go and-you know," Devi said, leaning against the wall, tears in her eyes. 'Numb. Think numb, Devi old girl. You can't fall apart in front of other people!'  
  
"It must be hard. You can share my mom if you want," Tenna said hopefully. Devi forced a smile.  
  
"OK then. Sure Tenna," she said, in a very strained happy voice that she hoped was enough to fool Tenna. It worked.  
  
"Great! Now, let's have eggnog!" Tenna cheered, reached for the carton inside the bag.  
  
*/*/*  
  
More pretty soon I guess. 


	4. A Meeting

Disclaimer: Why must I go through this.yes I own JTHM. Yes I am Jhonen Vasquez. Yes, those two things were lies. I own nothing...except this plot. But it can be taken..duplicated...stolen...yeah.  
  
Here's the fourth chapter. Dear me, I'm going strong today. Three chapters so far in one day. Wowness. But I know I suck at angstyness. I am very hungry. You know, I'm getting really sick of people laughing at me at the mall, but I'm getting even more sick of having to tell them to leave me alone. I haven't eaten today. But we ran out of Ramen. I cry. Hey..we DO have Cheetos...  
  
*/*/*  
  
The next night, Devi left her apartment once more and walked down the sidewalk, heading to the right. She would go to 24/7, get some Senor Salsa chips and maybe a fizz-wizz, probably grape, and then she would head back home and watch American Idol just for the fun of watching the bad singers get heartbroken. Yes, doing that was fun. Or maybe she would just read a little in 'Nightfall', and then head off to bed after the words started to blur together. To tell the truth, she didn't really have plans, but she wanted to be outside tonight. She loved the cold. She wasn't sure why. Maybe because it matched how her heart had been lately. Frozen. She was about two blocks away from her apartment when she saw him passing her. Nny.  
  
He was walking with his head cast down to the ground, tears on the edges of his dark eyes. Devi stopped and watched him go. There was something so pathetic and forlorn about his stooped figure that she almost felt herself feeling sorry for him.  
  
She watched him pass a guy and his girlfriend. The guy reached out and shoved Nny, knocking his thin body to the ground in a display of his 'machoness' as they passed Nny. He just lay there on the side of the road, looking up at the dark sky with a glazed look in his eyes. Devi shook her head. He was just so pitiful that she couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. She walked over to where he lay and grabbed the back of his shirt collar, pulling him awkwardly to his feet.  
  
"Hey there Nny. Haven't seen you in a long time," Devi said, forcing a little smile.  
  
"Devi," Nny said in pure shock.  
  
"Yeah. So how have you been?" Devi asked with all the friendliness she could congregate.  
  
"I'm..I'm fine. How are you?" he asked, still in disbelief.  
  
"Fine. Just fine. I'm surprised you didn't kill that guy," Devi said with a touch of cold sarcasm. Nny cringed, but then Devi's smile returned.  
  
"I didn't have to," Nny said, his gaze sweeping over her. She was just as beautiful as he remembered her.  
  
"So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Devi asked. Nny's eyes grew cheerless.  
  
"Nothing really. It gets sort of lonely, the same old routine of...solitude," Nny mumbled, looking at his feet.  
  
"Hey Nny?"  
  
"What?" Nny asked, looking back up at her.  
  
"Do you want to come to my apartment for a while tonight and talk? It gets sort of lonely."  
  
"Yes."  
  
*/*/*  
  
Wow, yes, the amazing Moonchild has completed yet another chapter for your amusement. Hope you enjoyed it, because I enjoyed writing it. 


	5. Memories

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Here is the fifth chapter in this terrible story that makes people want to bludgeon their friends with heavy objects.  
  
*/*/*  
  
They reached Devi's apartment some minutes later and Devi unlocked the door. Nny followed her inside, looking around. This was somewhere he'd never been before. He saw a small plastic Christmas tree on a table, decorated with some ornaments. The whole place gave off a casual yet paranoid feeling. It was hard to explain. He followed Devi to the room she had entered, which turned out to be the kitchen.  
  
"Want some hot chocolate or something?" Devi asked, opening the cupboard.  
  
"I guess so. Thanks," Nny said, glancing around the kitchen. Devi proceeded to make hot chocolate, and while she was letting the milk boil she sat down at the kitchen table. Nny sat down opposite her. She looked at him silently for a moment.  
  
"Nny...is there some reason makes you so gloomy? Because when I mentioned it you looked absolutely heartbroken."  
  
"Well..yes. But it's very depressing. Are you sure you want to hear?" Nny asked.  
  
"If it makes you feel better to talk about it."  
  
"Devi, before I start..why are you being so nice to me?"  
  
"You know..it's close to Christmas and everything. The season to be jolly and all that crap. You know, like the song. Plus I guess I sort of...don't hate you I guess. I sort of missed you a tiny bit even, if truth to be told."  
  
"I missed you too, Devi. And I never did get to properly apologize for trying to....you know..back on that first date..."  
  
"I know what you're talking about. It's alright I suppose...as long as you don't try it again. Now, what were you going to say?"  
  
"OK, a long time ago, when I was very young....I don't remember how young exactly, it was Christmas eve. I went out to buy my family presents...by myself. And then when I came back the house was dark and empty. It was silent. I walked into the living room and I saw them there...dead. They'd been murdered...they were decapitated. It was horrible, blood all over the place...I cried so much..and ever since then I've fallen apart at Christmas. Every single year."  
  
Devi looked at him, shocked. "That's terrible. Oh Nny I...I'm so sorry," she said quietly, looking down at the wood of the table. Nny said nothing. He bit his lip.  
  
"I know it's not as bad as your past, but ...I know a bit what it's like. My mother died in a car crash two months before Christmas when I was five. It was her favorite holiday. It always was. She used to do a lot for it. And that first Christmas that she was gone...everybody was all zombie-like. And I kept thinking 'somebody say something!', but nobody did. There were so many things I needed to say..and no one to listen to them. And I just felt so alone I-" Devi cut herself off and looked away from Nny, so he wouldn't see how close to tears she had become.  
  
"I'm sorry Devi," Nny said softly.  
  
She dropped her head into her hands. She bit her lip as Nny had done, trying to keep her tears back. A few escaped her eyes. She sniffed them back and went on.  
  
"And I just wanted someone to know how I felt...wanted someone to listen to what I needed to say about it..but no one seemed to understand..no one would listen" she practically whispered. Her tears burned, and a few more slid down her cheeks. Nny looked at her sadly for a moment, and then he stood up and walked over to her.  
  
He hesitated for a moment, and then he very carefully put his arms around her.  
  
"I'll listen," he said quietly.  
  
*/*/*  
  
I'll do another chapter or so today I think. 


	6. Bye Bye Johnny C

Disclaimer: I STILL don't own JTHM. Surprise surprise.  
  
OK, here's chapter...is it six? Well, here it is. Weep my children, weep.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Devi was still trying to contain her tears, and at the feeling of his arms around her (well, not around her completely, just looped carefully about her) she lost control and broke down completely. She tried to stop sobbing, but it was no good.  
  
"Hell, I'm sorry Nny. I know I should be losing it like this but....holy lord..I miss her so much. I never realized I missed her. I was angry at her..for dying..but it wasn't her fault..I'm sorry I'm breaking down on you like this Nny I-" Devi was able to rasp between sobs, finally swallowing her tears and gasping until her breath came normally. She wiped her tears away and Nny released her, looking awkward.  
  
"That's alright," Nny said quietly. He felt rather guilty, as he could barely remember his parents. He suddenly remembered something and brightened visibly. "I got you a Christmas present. I was going to just leave it on your doorstep, but here," Nny said. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a little silver cardboard box. He handed it to Devi. "Don't open it till Christmas," he said, smiling.  
  
"Thanks Nny. I wish I would have thought to get you something," Devi said, carrying the box out of the room. She placed it under the little tree and returned.  
  
"You spoke to me. That's gift enough for me," Nny said.  
  
Devi gave him an odd little smile.  
  
"You know what? I don't think you're a bad person anymore," Devi said.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean...well...you haven't tried to kill me so far..and you helped me when I was having that little *cough* emotional breakdown back there. All in all, I'm surprised..in a good way."  
  
"I'm not all that good, Devi. There's something you don't know about me. You'll want me to leave and never come back after I tell you, but I'll tell you anyway."  
  
"OK. But what could you possibly-"  
  
"The fact that I tried to kill you, though I like you enormously, wasn't very unlikely. You see..I'm a..I'm a homicidal maniac."  
  
"You mean-"  
  
"I kill people. A LOT of people."  
  
"My gosh Nny I can't believe you would do this-"  
  
"I told you. I'm a filthy murderer."  
  
Devi looked at him with something like disbelief in her eyes for a moment. And then finally, looking on the verge of tears, she spoke.  
  
"Get out of here Nny. Seriously. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But..just leave. Please."  
  
"Devi I'd never try to kill you again."  
  
"But you have no trouble in killing other people. I thought I could trust you, Nny."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Nny, I just can't believe you would..I'm in danger every second I'm with you Nny. And you killed people!" Devi suddenly screamed.  
  
"Devi I-"  
  
"Don't 'Devi' me! I never want to see you again Nny!" Devi screamed.  
  
"Devi-"  
  
"Get out of here you little tramp!" Devi screamed. Nny's eyes stung and he turned and walked into the living room, and out the door. He waited till he was out of the building before he let his tears fall into the snow.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Yes, I know, that chapter was very straightforward and the writing quality dropped drastically, but it will improve. I just needed to get this point across, as it is important to the storyline. Poor Nny. Devi hates him again. More soon. 


	7. Over The Stars?

Disclaimer: PHHHHH  
  
Here's another chapter. Woo!  
  
*/*/*  
  
It was Christmas eve. Devi sat alone by the pathetic little Christmas tree, numb. She felt like crying, but she wasn't.  
  
"Must...by..stoic.." Devi whispered to herself. She glanced at the present from Nny. It was the only present under that tree. She looked away from it. And finally she couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
She unwrapped the present and pulled out the gift. She gasped, her heart almost stopping for a moment. It was a locket. A gold locket. It was only about three centimeters wide. There was a tiny ornamental knife, the smallest one she's ever seen, set into the front with a tiny little rose vine wrapping around it.  
  
"Oh Johnny," Devi whispered in awe. She hadn't known a homicidal maniac could be capable of giving a gift that was so, well, beautiful. She stuck her nail into the groove running around the locket and opened it. There was a piece of paper folded inside, folded up very very tiny. She unfolded it with some difficulty and read it.  
  
Dear Devi,  
  
Merry Christmas, if you can really say it IS merry. I don't find it that way, but you might.  
  
I've always wanted to die on Christmas eve like my parents.  
  
Devi was surprised at the tears that were in her eyes when she finished.  
  
And suddenly she realized something.  
  
"He's going to kill himself!" Devi gasped, realizing it somehow. She didn't know how she knew, but she did.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nny slammed the door to house 777, sick of hearing the voice of Rev. Meat. He could feel the gun in his hand bouncing against his thigh and he walked out into his back yard. He cocked it before he got there.  
  
Standing in the middle of the snowy yard. He lifted the gun to his temple and looked around the yard for the last time. He prepared to fire the gun, his finger on the trigger...  
  
BLAM!  
  
The blam wasn't a gunshot. Someone, or something, slammed into Nny, knocking him into the snow. The gun fired off to the right, and the bullet hit a tree.  
  
Nny thrashed around for a moment as Devi wrestled the gun away from him and threw it off into the night.  
  
"What were you thinking?!" her voice rang out in the silence as she looked down at him, still sitting on him. Nny rolled onto his back and looked up at her. She was still sitting on his chest, panting with the exertion of getting the gun away from him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Nny asked, looking up at her in surprise.  
  
"Saving your life! How stupid are you, trying to commit suicide?" Devi asked.  
  
"Why would you care?" Nny asked, struggling to get out from under her. She placed her hands on his shoulders and held him still.  
  
"Why the fuck wouldn't I care? Shit, that sounded totally cliché," Devi said, groaning.  
  
"Yeah. It kinda did. Hee hee," Nny said. Devi slapped him gently.  
  
"Don't laugh at me," she said, faking irritation. But she was smiling. "Why were you going to kill yourself?"  
  
"Because I love you, and you can't stand me," Nny said sadly. Devi just stared at him.  
  
"Oh....Johnny...is that what you think? You think I can't stand you?" Devi asked, quite awkwardly.  
  
"Yeah, that's the idea that I had."  
  
"Aw Nny.....it's not that I can't stand you it's just that...well..it's kind of hard to trust somebody when they're...you know...a.."  
  
"A homicidal maniac?"  
  
"Yes. And it also doesn't help that-"  
  
"I tried to kill you?"  
  
"Yeah. So it's not that I don't like you Nny. I..I really do care about you. You have to understand that. But I'm a little bit afraid of you, that's all. But I do like you a lot Johnny. And I...I think I might even love you too."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes. And Nny...I don't want to you try and kill yourself again. Please," Devi said, looking worried.  
  
"I won't, I won't,....er...Devi?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"No offense but..could you please get off of me?"  
  
"Oh, sure," Devi said, hopping off of Nny. He sat up, brushing snow off of himself.  
  
"Devi....I can't believe you saved my life," Nny said.  
  
"Oh come here you," Devi said, grabbing Nny by the arm and dragging him over to her and throwing her arms around him.  
  
"Aw Devi," Nny said, hugging her back. Devi kissed his cheek and he quivered slightly.  
  
"Merry Christmas Nny," Devi said softly. Nny hesitated for a moment, and then gave her a kiss too.  
  
"Yeah, it is," he said.  
  
*/*/*  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!  
  
Awwwwwwww *blows chunks*  
  
That was soooooo sappy, huh? I was going to make them both die, but I got all soft. Bad me. *hits herself* well, Nny got his merry little Christmas, and I got a cramp in my hands for the trouble. Grrrr! Well, now I've gotta finish 'The Rose' and a few other fics, and then my fics will all be finished and I can start some new ones again! Wee! TWO fics finished in one day! Well, go read some other ones now. Show's over! Get outta here! Leave now! Why are you still reading? GET!  
  
*storms out of the room* 


End file.
